


the morning after: you. + dramatic monologue

by minlynno



Category: ATEEZ (Band), EXO (Band), K-pop, Monsta X (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drabble, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fanfiction, Friends With Benefits, Romance, Short One Shot, alternative universe, best friend - Freeform, bts - Freeform, kpop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:41:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22604908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minlynno/pseuds/minlynno
Summary: you were aware that it probably wasn't a clear moment that turned your feelings from platonic friendship into what you feel for him now. Rather, it was a lot of little things he did that accumulated over time. But you messed up. You shouldn't have let this happened. Now it's too late, now is the morning after.this is the same story i've already posted once, just an alternative version which includes a really dramatic monologue by Y/N. I'd love to hear which one you guys prefer!
Relationships: Y/N x Him
Kudos: 3





	the morning after: you. + dramatic monologue

You slowly turn around and open your eyes. The sun is seeping through the bedroom curtains, blinding you while your eyes try to slowly adjust to the setting. Blinking you try to decipher where you are. You can feel the softness of the bed you're lying in and the way the blanket is brushing your naked skin. You can feel his arms around your waist and the heat of his body pressed against yours, seeking security, as if he is scared you would leave. That is the moment it all comes back to you. All the memories of the previous night. You don't remember how your lips found his or who started the kiss, you just remember how the soft kisses slowly turned into something more heated, the way desire flooded your body as you both grew more and more desperate to touch and feel each other. You remember the way he looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing he has ever seen, hands roaming your body seeming to know everything you like, even though that was impossible.  
You can still feel his touch lingering on your body. With last nights memories fresh in your mind you can feel your heartbeat increase while simultaneously dropping to your stomach. It should have never happened. 

Carefully turning over to look at him, your eyes catch his peaceful sleeping figure. A strand of his hair fell into his face and you gingerly run your hand through his hair, brushing the strand behind his ear. Just a few weeks ago, you discovered that he likes having his hair stroked, though he would never ask for it or much less admit to it. But when he is sleeping, he cuddles into your touch, whining, almost needy for it. Funny how someone that hates romance this much can crave it as much when his guard is down, when he's asleep and doesn't know that he wants it at all.  
He looks younger when he is asleep. Carefree, as if there is nothing to worry about, as if real life isn't happening. The sun hits his skin, illuminating all the features you love finding home and filling your heart with admiration for this boy. You wish you could stop time. Stop time at this exact moment. Freezing this moment of pure love and admiration for eternity. No need to worry about what happened or what is going to happen next. Just him curled against you without a care in this world.  
You know it's impossible. You know nothing could ever really happen between the two of you. Yesterday was a mistake. Something both of you didn't plan on happening. You should've been stronger . Should have resisted but your feelings for him had overwhelmed you in that moment and giving into him was just so easy. Letting your guard down and falling into him was so fucking easy. The way he had embraced you, the way he made you feel was something you never knew you were capable of. 

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, looking for the a clear moment to define when your feelings for him changed. Still, you come up empty, aware that it probably wasn't a clear moment that turned your feelings from platonic friendship into what you feel for him now. Rather, it was a lot of little things he did that accumulated over time. You remember all the nights you spent together talking, the way he hugged you when you were sad or how he always remembered to buy your favorite snack for movie night.  
Love isn't a thing that's suddenly just there. It's like snow in a snowstorm, slowly piling until you notice it. Until, in the end, you find yourself buried, unable to move. With him, you know there isn't a reason why you fell in love with him, accepting only the knowledge that, in the end, you did.

When he came to you last night you knew you couldn't say no, you were too far gone. But for the sake of this friendship you knew you couldn't stay. Your heart lurches in your throat. A lump forms. Panic rises. You feel yourself drawn to him just like a magnet to it's pole and it would be so easy to just give in, to let yourself fall back to sleep and pretend you never woke up, but you can't. To let this continue would only be a torture on your heart and soul and so you slowly turn back to him and give him a chaste kiss on his forehead. Blinking at him you take a deep breath and try to slip out of the bed as quiet as possible. You try to carefully remove his arm from your waist when you suddenly feel him pulling you closer. The pillows and sheet's wrinkle, bed shaking with the motion of his limps.  
'morning' , he croaks in a sleepy voice, settling deeper into the pillow, getting comfortable. Strands of hair fall back into his eyes.

'morning', you whisper back, too scared to look at him.

He chuckles, carefully caressing your waist. 'why won't you look at me?'

'I should leave', you spit out and try to remove yourself from the bed. 'It's best for both of us'.

But he holds onto your waist and his grip tightens. 'please, stay.' he whispers into your ear as you try to calm your heart. 

You breathe in. you breathe out. This is the moment you have feared. Everything you've tried to avoid and kept hidden for these last months was about to see the light of day and you weren't ready. You knew that you were in love with him and you very well accepted the fact that you indeed were but admitting it to him, saying these words out loud and making it reality was one of the scariest things to even think about. There was just too much to lose. You could handle being in love with him and never telling him. You could even handle seeing him with other women for the sake of this friendship but you weren't ready for him to reject you. 'please just let me leave. Last night was a mistake and we both know it. I just want everything to go back to normal. I just want to act like nothing ever happened even though we both know it will never be the same again. Fuck I messed up'

'what do you mean you messed up', he whispers after a few seconds of silence.

It couldn't go on like this. You swing your legs over the bed frame ready to get up.  
'I thought about kissing you today.. and yesterday. And he day before that. I know I will think about kissing you tomorrow and the day after that and some more days after those days. I think about kissing you slowly and tracing my fingers along your lips.' you whisper and slowly turn around facing him, looking straight into his shocked face. You raise your hand and slowly caress his cheek while a tear quietly makes it way down your face. 

'I think about kissing you in your car, in the rain, on your doorstep. I think about kissing only you. Not anyone else. Just you.'  
you let your hand drop from his face, get up and pick up your stuff while continuing talking. 'It doesn't have to be two in the morning to think about you . I think about you when I am filing through the moments of my day. And yet at 2 a.m when I am thinking about you, I am also pretending what it would feel like to be in your arms. In the mornings, I think about holding your hand, drinking coffee in bookstores, and keeping that heart of yours forever. But then it is night, and I imagine pulling off your shirt and falling into sheets, my lips making you weak.. just like yesterday.'

you pause for a second. Now completely dressed. You look at him and smile with tears in your eyes.  
'well.. as you might've guessed I've been thinking about you. Writing out text messages without pressing send. I've been dreaming about kissing you and one day when I have the courage, to tell you I wanna be more than just friends.'

The shock in his face and the silence that follows is almost unbearable. You can feel something deep inside you break so you turn around on your way to the door, ready to leave as suddenly the words you never expected to hear from his mouth fill the room. 'I love you Y/N'.


End file.
